It's a Microwave Miracle


We can exclusively reveal that microwaves are going to be installed in the Robinson Library!

That’s right, you can now heat up that two day old pizza or tuna pasta bake whilst you type up your Chaucer dissertation.

After months and months of student campaigning for everyone’s favourite kitchen appliance to be installed next to some of the most important texts on campus, as of the 1st April you’ll now be able to defrost, bake and even grill your way through your library stint.

Jack Taylor, NUSU President, said: “It’s been my ambition throughout my entire time at University to have microwaves installed into the Robinson Library and I can finally announce that I’ve achieved it – this is possibly the greatest day of my whole life.”

Exclusive details of the micro-move were confirmed to the SU last night by April FD Appliances Ltd, the approved microwave suppliers.

Mr Cookit, Managing Director, said: “We’ve never had such an order, nor such a task, on our hands. We’ll be installing a microwave next to every computer in the library – that’s nearly 1000 of them! I’ll be happy knowing that we’re able to supply all you hardworking students with everything you need to bake your way through a night’s worth of work.”

Jack Taylor continued: “Students will all be given microwave credits so they’ll be able to cook to their heart’s content, or to when these credits run out. After that it’s 30p a minute. 

“We’re even looking into customising the ‘ping’ sounds, but I can’t say too much just yet. Don’t want to have this hanging over me if the University say no.”

So stock up on everything microwavable and say goodbye to last night’s sad, cold leftovers. It’s a MICROWAVE MIRACLE!



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